What to say?

What do you say when you have a frustrated and somewhat lost loved one?! I have a loved one that is frustrated with their career choices, and what path they should take. The career he has done up to date has been somewhat successful, but not satisfying. Now lost and confused on what career path he should take next, I feel terrible because I have no answers and no advice. I am there for him, and of course my support in whatever he chooses is there, but I feel helpless in his time of pain. I hate not knowing the perfect thing to say, or do. I guess my support and love will have to do for now!

Feels Good!

It feels so good to be able to get things out in the open, things that have been bothering me for quite some time! I love my in-laws, they are great people, they are not what or who I have the problem with, its the duration of their stay. 2 months is a long time for anyone to stay in your space. I hate to vent, especially because they do so much for my family, but people, like me need space. I don't like to be alone very often, so that should give you an idea about how much they are in my space. Anyway I finally told my significant other, along with a lot of other things, that that was a long time for his parents to stay. He understands where I am coming from, and acknowledged my feelings which was what I felt was lacking. I felt that I couldn't talk to him about this, I thought he would be upset. I should know my husband better than that. I am glad I talked to him. Things seem like they are back to normal, or as close as possible until the in-laws leave. I am grateful that my daughter will know her grandparents well. I hope she knows the other side just as much. They treat her so well, and I am thankful for that!

Guilt

Why can't I just keep my big mouth shut?! You know my question about whether people should blog about whatever they want and not worry about other people's feelings, well forget that idea. Tonight I feel like a big ball of crap. It all started with the idea of getting my daughter baptized. At first I was against the idea because I don't agree with most of what man made religion has to say. I was doing it to appease my in-laws. As time went on I accepted that she was going to get baptized and I am actually looking forward to it. However, in the process I had to state my opinions, probably more than I should have, and now I think I have made my MIL feel like she pressured us into this. I don't want her to feel like this at all. I didn't go on a huge rant about how I feel, I just told her some things I didn't agree with. I should have just shut up and got on with it. I am sitting here in a pile of tears because I feel so guilty! I guess the only way to make amends with the situation is to thank her for all her hard work in making this day possible! My in-laws have done so much for us, yet I find myself not appreciating everything all the time! I want everyone to know I DO appreciate them and all they do! Sometimes we just don't see eye to eye on things! I do think everyone has the right to an opinion, to their own voice, however there is a place and a time, and sometimes I don't always know when that is!

While sitting here guilty, I wonder how people do things and not feel any guilt at all. It is amazing how my body can be consumed in guilt at the drop of a hat. I sometimes feel so guilty about things, it physically hurts! I just don't understand how some people don't feel this at all. Is it a chemical imbalance? Anyway I am going to do something to take my mind off of it, get a good sleep and remedy the situation tomorrow.

Thanks for listening world!

Saturday thoughts

Not a very exciting title, so I don't blame you if you don't read. I didn't really pull you in with anything that would wow you! I just wanted to say how much I miss my mom today. I miss her everyday, but today, for some reason is harder than yesterday! I know she is around watching me, but that doesn't make it easier! It has been almost 7 months since she died and it seems like an eternity ago, but at the same time not that long ago. Does that make sense? Anyway I am thinking about her a lot lately. I am also thinking about a friend who died, at a young age, two months ago. I just got an email from his wife with a picture of me and my friend. It was a nice picture, but sad at the same time!

I have lots of other things to say, but the problem is I don't know if they are appropriate for the blogging world. I don't want to offend anyone with my thoughts. What do you think? Should people feel free to say whatever they think in the blogging world, or should we feel obliged to respect other's feelings?

Hope everyone has a great day!

5 1/2 months!

WOW I cannot believe my sweet little girl is 5 1/2 months old already! People tell you all the time that time goes quicker when you have kids, and you never really believe or understand it until you have children of your own. It is so crazy that 5 1/2 months has passed already! Its not even that A is 5 1/2, its that we are 5 1/2 months into the year. Where did the year go, and its only 6 months til Christmas! She is such an amazing little girl. Everyday she surprises me with new developments. I love going into her room in the morning and looking down at her with her big goofy smile on her face! She is the cutest little thing you have ever seen! She certainly knows who mommy and daddy are that is for sure! Everything is going great. She is eating well, sleeping well and overall doing awsome. I am a little bothered by the fact that she hasn't met my parents yet. They have only seen her over skype, but in about a month we will be going to AB to see my family, and some of my husband's family as well. It will be a great trip! I would say being a mom is the best job EVER!

High School..ugh

I have been out of high school for a very long time. I did not hate high school, but it was not the most memorable time either. Well here I find myself living it all over again...well sort of, without the drama. Ok not really, but I am reliving the two subjects I dreaded the most, biology and chemistry! Biology is not so bad, its the chemistry...yuck! I thought school was easier as you got older, I guess some subjects are forever to be your nemisis. Anyway I need these two courses to go back to school. I have decided I want to be a nurse. Well I have always known this, but it has taken me a long time to admit it fully and to do something about it! So that is what I am doing, being a full time mother, and a full time student. Although its only two subjects, its hard to re-learn the material and take care of a baby. Thank goodness she is such a good baby! So far I am getting the assignments done, but trust me I would rather do anything else! It feels like all I do is read. Anyway back to the books!

Ramblings

The last two months have been bitter sweet. For those who are new to this blog, let me update you, I had a baby and five days later my mom suddenly passed away.
For the most part I have been dealing with my mom's loss pretty well. However I do have my bad days, like tonight. My cold might have played a small part in my emotional turmoil. I don't feel good, and all I want to do is sleep but can't! But for the most part I have been missing my mom a lot lately! Not that I hadn't before, but as Allie gets older, I find myself thining of my mom a lot more! I am not sure what kind of parenting advice she would have given me, if you knew the relationship my mom and I had, you would ponder the same thing. We did not have a typical mother daughter relationship, however I would have liked to know what kind of advice she would have given me, or at least to know more about what I was like as a baby! I do have lots of other moms I can ask for advice, but its not the same as your own!
Anyway I hope this cold goes away fast! I am getting cabin fever. I have been indoors for two days, going on three, and I am going insane. I love hanging out with Allie, but we need to get out. Tomorrow there is a baby and mom class I would like to attend, but the fear of infecting other moms and babies is holding me hostage! We will see how I feel in the morning. Right now its not looking so good as I have trouble sleeping when I am sick! My nose hurts from blowing it so much, my eyes hurt, and my throat is scratchy!