Decision Making

Decision making is hard, well for me it is, why is this so? Is it conscience related or just so extremely stressful that I would rather not bother? The larger decisions in life are of course much more difficult than the less important ones, but for me any decision I have to make big or small is difficult. Those who can make a decision in the blink of an eye are great people. For me any decision entails indecisiveness, much thought and most importantly stress which usually ends in someone else making the decision for me.

The current decision I am battling with is between two jobs, a job I currently have in which the pay and hours suck but the people are great thus far. I have done this sort of job time and time again and know how the routine works. It also has no room for growing, a part time receptionist is what I started as and a part time receptionist is where I shall end.

The other job is one I recently had a interview for in which I have never done before, the hours are not really any better than the current job but the flexiblity of hours are there which will allow me to spend more time with family, friends and most importantly concentrate on school. It is also flexible in the way which there is room to move around in the company, my position will not be at a standstill forever. I am not sure about the pay but it can't be any worse than my current job.

Both jobs have their ups and downs. The second job sounds much better to me however the decision on which one I should take is still rattling my brain. But perhaps its not the decision moreso than my conscience that is making this decision difficult. If I quit the first job I will feel bad for letting those people down and wasting everyone's time and energy on training me only to leave them a week later. The people are really nice and I have started to like them. The job isn't that bad but I must think about the future especially when it involves school. My current job, the flexibility is not there, I must work the days alotted as I am the only one to do that job on those days.

I must look at it in this light, I need to look out for me and do what is best for me because no one else is going to, especially those at my current job. If the second job is more flexible with hours and will allow me to maximize my potential at school then perhaps that is the direction I need to go in. I am a student, evenings and weekends are going to have be filled with a meaningless job that is only a means to end.

Hopefully with this thought process, thinking it over and talking it over with some more experienced decision makers I will be able to make this decision easily when the time comes to do so.

Wooohooooo

Almost done exams!! One more left to go on monday morning at 9 am! Yeah, crappy time for an exam but when its your last one who cares....well last one for two months. At least I will get a two month break, sure will be filled with a 40 hour work week but sometimes working is better than writing essays and studying for tests, until you realize that the crappy job you are in sucks and school is way better. But a break from school will be nice!

Meh!

I am at school, bored. I came to study for a final, i studied for the morning, my study buddy went home to nap, hence i am bored. I should study more but the way i figure is, this class is a lose-lose situation. I do really well in partciatption and attendance and then screw up on all tests even though i know the material in and out, so i am not sure what i am doing wrong so i am going to not stress about it, study a little more and just write the damn thing!

I am also pretty sure i have pink eye which really helps out the studying situation, i want to scratch my eyeball out..however i am trying oh so hard to not touch it as to not infect the rest of the world.

The weather is crummy and i just want to go home. Soon, in like five or so more hours

Waiting...

I am not a fan of waiting...esepcially when I have to wait by myself!! Currently I am sitting at home waiting for people to deliver furniture, this is the worst waiting, when they give you a timeframe. At least its not as bad as the phone company where they might be here somewhere between 9-5, this is a two hour window but still pick a time and get your ass here! Do you think I have nothing better to do with my time then sit here all morning and wait!! I am a student I have tons of other things to do. While I could be studying right now, I choose to wait. It would be my luck I start and get into it and they knock on my door. All I can say is they better hurry up!!

BAH

I hate papers!!! I hate when profs give you a paper to finish a week before a final exam! I hate that writing papers is so fricking hard..why can't i be like Ernest Hemmingway or someone like that....life would be easier in the paper world!!

I also hate big first year classes. People talk way too much...is it so hard to shut the hell up for at least an hour and a half...i don't think so!!!

I also hate looking for a job..currently that is a main task of mine along with finishing the semester.

those are some of my thoughts and pet peeves at the moment

Homesickness

I know homesickness never goes away completely, but i do wonder if it gets easier with time. While I have only been here for sixish months, i do not expect that i would be close to being cured by now, however I also did not think it would be this difficult. When i was making the decision to move i was excited, a brand new life with new friends, a new house, new school, new new new. I like new. I also thought that with technology communicating would not be that hard, and its not but for some reason homesickness is not getting easier. Don't get me wrong I love my new house, new friends and new city but I wish that all of my old things were here to share it with me. I hope that homesickness gets easier with time because i don't have that much room or time in my life to be homesick. I have many things to do and being homesick is not one of them.
Along with being homesick i miss my cat!! I love my cat, biast i know, but he is the best cat ever. He is with a friend of mine who is taking great care of him, however i wish he was here with me. I also hope this gets easier because my heart and feelings are hurt by this loss. anyone who has ever had a pet understands that when they go away its very hard.

FINALLY

So we finally have the internet at home!! While it wasn't as bad as I make it out to be, having no internet still sucks!! You don't really know how much you need and miss it until you don't have it! Its like this empty void in your life, its crazy how dependent we have become on this link to the outside world. Imagine what they did without it oh so many moons ago! Its hard to imagine what life was like without email, knowing any peice of information you need to know with the touch of a button. Its become such a huge part of our lives that I think if were to go away society would not know what to do with itself, especially the generation below me! I find it hard to believe when people tell me they don't have a computer at home, not having a computer is not like having a television, everyone has one!

SERIOUSLY?! Seriously!

When moving there are many things to think about, it just does not require putting your crap in a box and moving it from one location to another. We have all been through this. You must change your address to a million different places as well as switch things over like electricity, cable etc etc. This however should not be that complicated, unless you belong to Rogers wireless. My husband and I have cells phones with rogers, this is no big deal, so far we are happy with their service. What we are not happy with was when we got a portable wireless modem they told us is coverage almost everywhere. Well as we spent about 2 hours at the mall last night we found out that is not the case. We moved to a rural area, where I might add, other people have internet! Rogers told us that no internet service goes out there. Fine no wireless internet goes out there, what about cable internet we ask? No such thing exists! WTF no such thing exists, it goes through a cable in your house and you can't do that!!! They also told us that there might be a cancellation fee!! Are you kidding me! Its not my fault you don't provide service out where I live and now you want me to pay you for that!! Needless to say we were not impressed with Rogers. So, not that we are against Aliant, but this is the only place we have to choose from!! All we want is our services to be on bill, I don't understand how difficult this is!! Anyway so fine we go to Aliant, only to find out that because we do not have a house phone our internet service is going to be $10 more a month than if we did have a house phone. What the hell is that about?! Oh and not to mention that after the first year it goes up AGAIN by another $10. WTF?
All we want is an internet service that we can use at home, its not like we are asking anyone to save the world. I am confused on why such an accessbile thing is so difficult to obtain. Rogers made it sound like we were moving to butt F*** no where and internet was absurd, it is clearly not as we are not the only people that live out there, I am sure everyone else has internet! For something that is so speedy it sure is taking a hell of a long time to get. Aliant told us that it will take 3-5 business days to get internet in our house!! Holy Crap! I might add however that Aliant was the most helpful, a young lady there was very informative, helpful and understanding and that was good to have seeing as how we were both so pissed that anymore bad service someone might have been seriously hurt.
So if you are planning on moving make sure what your internet service covers and if its moveable. If you have rogers perhaps make the switch over before you move and have to wait a week for internet.
When my cell phone contract is up with rogers I can assure you I will not be renewing with them.