Forgivness

When someone has done you wrong forgivness can be a hard thing to swallow, especially when its by someone you trust and love dearly and you are a teenager. This comes from experience. My dads twin sister was my favorite aunt in the whole world. From a baby until I was 16 years of age we did everything together. She took me camping, hiking, spoiled me and let me get away with things I normally wouldn't at home. It was great at her house and everytime I had to leave I couldn't wait to go back for more fun! I thought we would be close forever. I was wrong.

At the age of 16 my aunt and my family (my dad, brother and stepmom) had a falling out, on her end. She went all weird. Since that (that was 12 years ago) I haven't heard or seen her. Up until a week ago I never thought anything about it, I always got the latest updates from my dad on how she was doing. Now I wish that I had just picked up the phone to say sorry and see what the problem was because I may never get the chance to...ever.

My aunt is missing. She was reported missing last saturday in AB. For almost a whole week no one has seen or heard from her, this is very unsual for her especially considering the situation. She was camping with her dog in her van. Her friend came by to see her and found the van doors open with everything my aunt owned inside with her dog but no aunt carol! So her friend filed a missing persons report and that was the last time anyone saw her.

Its a sad situation. I know I have not seen her or talked to her in a long time but that doesn't mean I didn't want to or could have. I am trying to be optimistic but its been a week and these stories hardly ever end in happiness.

I think about her much more than I did when I knew she was just my aunt who had hurt my 16 year old feelings. I am not sure if that is selfish but its true. I really want her to be ok and even if I never did see her again I hope that she is ok and sees someone in my family again. I think about the 16 years I did have with her and the fun we had. That is the saddest part for me, perhaps knowing that I will never know how she was in these last few months.

I wish that I had just forgave her and picked up the damn phone to see how she was doing instead of being so stubborn and waiting for her! I am kicking myself right now for not reconciling things. The past is the past and I can't change anything but I can pray for her and remember all the good things about her and perhaps forgive and forget a little bit easier next time!